Promise...

What you think about this?
I been holding it in now I'm letting it flow
What you think about this?
I'm gonna do my own thing yeah I'm flying solo so
Don't tell me how its gonna be
On my own
And the thing of it is
There's nothing round here that I'm gonna miss
Cause you're holding me down
I just wanna fly
There comes a time when I gotta say goodbye
To the life that you see me in
Here's where I begin

And I promise myself
I ain't nobody's, I just wanna be free
And I promise myself
Even though it don't always come easy
Gonna learn from my pain
Never explain
Do it my way, that's what I say
Promise myself
I'm the only one who will believe me

There's a voice in my head
Telling me come on, come on, move on
There's a voice in my head
Telling me I know my right from wrong
They say what doesn't kill you can
Make you strong
Now I know what it means
You can try to bend but you ain't breakin my dreams
I'll be making mistakes
Comin up at a loss
I'll be tumbling down
But Like MC shake it off
I'll stay cool cause I know who's boss
Of me, myself, and I

And I promise myself
I ain't nobody's, I just wanna be free
And I promise myself
Even though it don't always come easy
Gonna learn from my pain
Never explain
Do it my way, that's what I say
Promise myself
I'm the only one who will believe me

I'll keep movin even when the beat is gone (I will)
I'll keep doin what i got to do to carry on (I will)
So don't hold me down cause i'm gonna fly
and the time has come and gotta say goodbye
To the life that you see me in
Here's where I begin

And I promise myself
I ain't nobody's, I just wanna be free
And I promise myself
Even though it don't always come easy
Gonna learn from my pain
Never explain
Do it my way, that's what I say
Promise myself
I'm the only one who will believe me....

A not so happy ending!

As I fight back the tears to prove my strength to him, on the inside my stomach is twisting. The words I'm searching for? I hate you!

"Danika you've become my best friend"

I want more than that, & I don't think I can sit back pretending that I don't.

I'm the girl who is everyones friend.

"Dan you have such an amazing personality and one day you're going to meet an amazing guy who will just be the luckiest guy on earth to be with you"... Thanks for the words of inspiration. Don't suppose you'd care to give me any insight as to why you don't desire to be that lucky guy?

Tonight for the first time in a very long time I felt completely alone...

...............This is not the ending I had written in my head.................

Reality Vs Expectations!

My expectations were High

The reality was low,

it's as simple as that

I guess this helps me grow.

He looks at me with love

but never does he act,

don't think I'll ever be good enough

and have to live with that.

I know I make him laugh

I definitely make him smile,

So what the fuck is up

just be with me for a while.

I fell in love once

I promised never more,

the hurt that he left me with

was so much more than sore.

And here I am again

loving with all my might,

unfortunately this time

I'm not strong enough for the fight!

I Hate Magicians...

So it turns out as magically as he was able mend my heart he quickly managed to break it again. I guess this was to ensure it was left exactly the way he found it? kind of like when they chop up the woman in the box & then put her back together again... top job magician... !

I should have written it all down...

Underneath the ANGER is HURT,

But underneath the HURT is LOVE...

I learnt that a few years back, I think I must have forgotten....

I was reminded again today!

Q & A

when someone says "what if it doesn't work out?"

Reply with "what if it does?"

When someone says "why?"

Reply with "why not?"

When someone says "I don't think I can"

Reply with "I do"

When someone says "maybe it's just meant to be"

Reply with, "nothing is meant to be unless you want it to be"

It's harder to get by on your own, listen to other people, accept compliments & as much as it's gonna sting you in the guts... be positive... or at least try...

The Magician came to town

I once had a boy who broke my heart. In fact he more than broke my heart, he left it with a scar tissue so deep that I thought it'd be there forever, hideous and raw for everyone to see.

Like all scars I learnt to live with it, forget it's there until someone mentions it and you remember for a moment how you got it. This is the way it was until I met the other boy. The other boy who turned out to be a magician... He asked me if I had only one wish what it would be, and I replied "to make this scar go away" & so he did. He healed my scar and my heart started to beat again. I hope some day I can repay the Magician boy, at the least I hope he lets me...